return my video game
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
is drinking for groundhog day legit?
well you blacked out on MLK day and we pregamed arbor day, so yes
Hey. I found $5 in quarters from one of those state quarter collection books. I'm using it for food tomorrow.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I have the WORST cramps EVER. I think this is gods way of saying 'you're welcome, last warning. stop being a slut.'
As planned I took it to the limit. Then we met a new limit. Now they are limit friends.
Girl you're stalking so hard you're gonna know both their social security numbers soon
I jizzed in his mayonnaise and put it back in the fridge. Shouldn't have stolen my weed.
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I am drunkenly riding a razor scooter up and down the hills of Cincinnati
What in the fuck are you doing with your life
Randomize
