If I remember correctly, I may have been smoking a cigarette on the dance floor. This is the true sign of a douchebag in his native habitat...fmylife
it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
no, literally. he fb chatted me and said "since you're online i figured we could bang tonight?"
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
The cops walked in to class and arrested 2 guys for possession.
How would one go about tricking someone into chugging an entire bottle of tequila?
Remember when you picked me up from my walk of shame with a bike, I came out wearing a Ninja Turtle costume and you let me ride the pegs to thoroughly display the embarassment
I was trying to be quiet until started to feel like my cock was being dipped in a rainbow and then I stopped caring temporarily
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
For the record you're an amazing lay and you have great taste in breakfast sandwiches
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Randomize