imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
Dude best one night stand i woke she was cleaning our fridge while waiting for the cab to show
Why did I wake up with condoms on all my fingers?
Considering the girl you hooked up with, I'd be concerned about not having one on your penis.
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I came so hard I literally levitated off the top of his dick. Gravity was no match for that orgasm!
The adults are the big ones right?
How was that girls surprise party last night?
Got absolutely destroyed tried to put somebody's leather jacket on and make out with their mother. You know.. the norm
oh he pulled my dick out. wanna come over after he leaves
GET OFF YOUR PHONE
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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