just saw a dude in a v-neck sweater on a bike drinking starbucks. way to feed the stereotypes white dude.
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
And there might be a gallon of sangria without the lid on the floor in your room. Just be careful when you open the door.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Yeah...I know. It's cute I think...I mean cute in a weird like hey I kinda took you home from the bar one night, maybe criticized your penis, and fucked your brains out...kinda sorta way
if I open my eyes, my head will explode. that hungover.
As i was laying there shouting that he dislocated my hip he actually reached his armed around and patted himself on the back
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I thought adderall would sober me up, but it did NOT.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
i need to stop establishing animals as safe words. Giraffe and Penguin are really awkward words to say during sex
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
Lol it's kinda hilarious. I left missing one glass... guage. I feel like Cinderella... but less classy.
So... Sorry we took your wife to the strip club last night... And sorry we bought her that lap dance... I think you're getting closer to your dream of a threesome, though.
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