I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
I un-blacked out around 7am watching J.lo videos on youtube
I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
saw a pregnant woman in a bridal gown standing on the side of the road while her car was getting searched by police....cheers to new beginnings
i never thought it was possible to fit gay, redneck and asian into the same sentence before i met you.
and this wasn't even the first one i'd hooked up with
She told me that when she orgasms she just lays there like that baby from teenmom. Who the fuck says that
I got drunken sympathy for the whales' plight last night and signed up to give $50 monthly to Greenpeace. Calling to cancel was worse than the hangover.
Hear that? That's the wail of a dying whale. Murderer.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
Someone with the Instagram name "hymenbreaker" just liked a photo of me and my grandma. I feel ashamed.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
As a heterosexual male nursing student, the odds are ever in my favor. My first semester has basically been The Horny Games. I've killed almost all of the competitors at this point.
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
