ya i vaguely remember microwaving a whole package of bacon for 20 minutes or so and then eating it all around 4am
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
how drunk are you?
What does that even mean anymore?
i can't find my house
we droppd you off right in front! i even walked you to the steps less then 3 mins ago.
i'm pretty sure my house moved.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
Just blew a perc off the traytable on my flight, spring break has begun!!
This baby is an asshole
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
Woke up with champagne in my hair and honey mustard on my hands. Strangely, I'm okau with this
Drunk on wine at my parents house watching "RugRats In Paris". Comeatmeadulthood.
Randomize
