do you think there was ever a doctor who smelled his finger after giving a prostate exam?
is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
There's sex hanging in the air like a pinata. European people are no joke.
I feel like we had some profound moment last night, but I can't really recall much past your ass turning up the volume on the radio.
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
My father is flirting with a transexual server at hamburger mary's. We can never tell him.
he's a firefighter. like being a firefighter screams MY DICK IS HUGE SO I'M NOT AFRAID TO DIE IN THIS FIRE.
I've started drunk signing up for 5ks. Who even does that?
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
Turns out naked twister is less fun than it sounds. I can never look Lee in the eye again. But Aimee's boobs are glorious.
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