i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
apparently smacking a customer in the face with his iPhone was not part of the WOW factor we learned in training...
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
sorry i couldnt make it to your birthday last night. i admit i chose being a whore over you.
They were greeting people getting off the 48 with green beers and cheers. The one day I decide not to take the bus home...
this is random but who was banging in the shower in our condo?
You refused to get in the cab so we rock paper scissored to decide who walked you home and the fat guy was it. So don't blame your poor hook-up choice on me; it was all you.
Hahahahahahhajahahahahajajjajahjahahajahahajajahahahajjajajahahjajajajajahahahajjjajajaahhahhahahahahahahahaha dominos taxi
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Randomize
