I start off june hungover/still drunk stumbling down my driveway with the trashcan at 6am..it's gonna be an interesting month
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
but seriously ill do anyone in one of those hats with the earflaps.
If I start taking birth control 8 days after we had sex do you think it'll stop the baby from being made?
at least he left the skimmer on the side of the pool so i could fish out my thong in the morning
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
You defs just slept for 6 hours in a porta pottie. You should probably just kill yourself.
The doctor that gave me my std test is trying to hook me up with her daughter lol
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Btw, you're my emergency contact at Planned Parenthood
She wore her engagement ring the whole time we fucked. I hate her fiancee, so it was cool
mcfuck me up
MCFUCK ME UP INSIDE
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
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