I puked a lego.
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
can you please tell me why I'm bleeding so heavily from my ass and all my makeup is gone?
You're pretty and everything..but you aren't worth the DUI
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
no seriously he was fingering me like he was really really frantically looking for a song on his iPod.
To this day, he introduces me as "the girl I met climbing trees at 3 A.M."
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I bought left over pizza from a guy on Craigslist.
Visions of polite missionary are dancing in my head right now kinda and it alarms me
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
I can't believe I slept with a girl who has the words shucks in her vocabulary. I'm getting less picky by the day..
Randomize
