oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
then for some reason i googled "how much to buy a cannon"
just brushed my teeth with a bottle of jack. ew. not all it's hyped up to be.
cat food counts as protein by the way
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
once you started introducing yourself as "running-bear" i knew you were beyond fucked up
They sext over her pic comments. Role playing as wolves.
I'm getting offered Candy Crush lives in return for sex. Like wtf.
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
I woke up sick this morning, maybe sucking a random dudes finger at a bar last night wasn't that clean of an idea.....
I found a video on my phone from last night... You got up on the table at McDonald's and screamed BURRITOOO!
You guys go ahead and have your romantic night. I'm gonna keep my vday tradition alive of angry banging a stranger.
EW HE LOOKS LIKE SOMEONE'S DAD
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize