Hey I found your number in my phone i dont remember how we met this is richard btw
strange i dont have your number must have been a drunk thing
could be more
absolutely not
I think she kind of thinks she's better than us now ... please. I go to Michigan.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
She said she didn't want me watching her give me a bj, so she proceeded to make a "blowjob igloo" out of blankets...
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Atlanta road trip update. Jimmy fell into the petting tank at the aquarium. And freaked out. With cops now... Keep you posted
You might be at the point of severe desperation when you gotta hold the two pieces of your broken vibrator together just to get off.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
There are regrets.. and there are RAGRETS
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
