You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
It's official. Every guy I've slept with has been to jail.
No, I'm not keeping her! I can't become an adulterer and a dog stealer in the same 24 hours...
hes trying to draw the periodic table on his chest with a sharpie. i'm not sure how thats going to help him on his chem final, but he keeps shouting "this is how the pros do it"
$1 margaritas. This happy hour needs to end.
Why is there a condom in the dishwasher...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
i woke up to you and that girl going out onto the balcony naked
oh sorry man.. we went outside because we DIDN'T want to wake you
I deserve to have sex with a hot freshman ok
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I found three naked dudes in your bed this morning. Did we have a really weird break in or do you need to tell me something?
lets face it, we have a liquor cabinet with a designated chocolate shelf
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
i just sneezed the second i jizzed and it got in my eye. words can't describe how much i hate life right now.
Randomize
