Well you will be happy to know that aaron carter hit on me
So I went home with some chick last night... I'm not sue what's worse: not getting a nut at 5am, the condom breaking and not being replaced, feeling poo when I put my finger in her but, sleeping on a heroin mattress in her living room, her swine flu coughing fit at 7am or realizing she peed the matt at 10am. Actually it was probably the fact that she continuously told me she was the classiest girl in boulder.
home. puking in laundry basket.
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
I made her orgasm until she cried. Four years of only having sex with dudes and I've still got it.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
We just stood there eating chocolate chip pancakes, watching you sleep on the bathroom floor.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
Dude, I just turned down sexual favours because I need to study... What the fuck is wrong with me?
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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