i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
Well he told me I'd never be a wizard, and so I responded with you'll never have a big penis. After that we both just sat there and cried.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
He came in both my eyes, then refused to give me a towel unless I found him by playing Marco Polo
How did it go last night?
Woke up head half shaved and a burrito? So good and bad?
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
I CAME HOME WITH MY NIPPLES PEIRCED! WE WERE CAMPING. IN THE MOUNTIANS. I DONT EVEN REMEMBER IT AT ALL.
I can already tell, the amount of fun I'm having right now is not nearly going to compensate for the amount of "let us never speak of this again" I'm gonna have tomorrow
When you get shitfaced you find strippers when I get shitfaced I speak to woodland creatures, do you see the dilema?
I finally broke my dry spell. I did it. D-do-da-Dora.
WHY CANT I FIND JUST A NORMAL DISNEY LOVING MAN TO PAINT WITH ALL THE COLORS OF THE WIND WITH!!
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