did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
You sucked the drug dealers dick for a 20 of coke...?
Nooo, I payed for that. I sucked his dick because I had an urge.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
Going home with an argentinian named sulvio. Ill let you know how it goes.
Did my good deed for the day.. Helped an old guy hide his beer on the NJ transit while the ticket lady came by
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
Walked into my campus store carrying a pitcher of sangria. No fucks given. Also this recipe is banging.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
I gave him blue balls & ate the last slice of pie so the chances of a second date are slim...
I just got his Save the Dave and, to answer your next question, NO I AM NOT GOING TO THE WEDDING OF THE GUY WHO GOT DRUNK AND CAME ON MY CHEST.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Got everyone out of my house, somehow managed to put all my lawn furniture back, puked in my sink, and cleaned it up all while black out drunk before my parents came home. Successful night.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
Randomize
