somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
It's like she bought one bad life decision and got one free
just cockblocked my boss's 17 year old son at the Christmas party
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
She looked at it and said "your dick is like the golden gate bridge."
Give him a trash can and a welcome home balloon, he will be good.
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
I think I'm gonna quit partying for awhile. Piercing my own nose is where I draw the line.
Caleb has a beard comb now. Also I have a pube comb now too. May or may not be related incidents
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
She was so happy for me that she insisted I fuck her with my Bills jersey on. THAT ACCOMMODATING
Like I'll lick your nuts to make you feel better if you don't get it
There's a difference tho. *I* drink at seven in the morning because I work graveyards. YOU drink at seven in the morning cause you're an alcoholic.
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