***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
Just got mistaken for a cardboard cutout ad in line at Taco Bell. New low?
Blow job in a bar bathroom for my Thing 1 while in a onezie dressed up as Thing 2. Best Halloween ever.
I bet the Cat in the Hat never caused mischief like that.
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
He upper decked the toilet, got himself lit on fire 6 times and lit 4 other people on fire in the course of 3 days.
I don't think he understands the importance of corndogs. Or condoms for that matter.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I know I said I wouldn't, but he told me I looked like Mila Kunis. Reasons not to fuck him, go.
He said he wanted to have butt sex with me and curl up with me after and just be near me. Then he passed out.
Best orgasm I ever had! I though we totally connected and I asked him to stay over. He went back to the sigma chi house and returned with his blankie and a 40. please help
you can't get cum all over my hair and then tell me you just want to be friends
Just wiped the ashes off my forehead before he came over to have sex. Definitely going to hell.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
Randomize
