fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
The fact that it was "anything but a cup" now explains the cowboy boots and fishbowl aftermath at the apartment.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
I may forget my underwear, but you can count on me for drugs and plan b
Randomize
