I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
My overnight senior got drunk and hooked up with Kaylee on Sunday. I checked Facebook and he already put down his deposit for next year. This school should pay me a commission.
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
Why would I take you home? That would eliminate the chances of you making bad decisions I could ridicule you about later.
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
After an hour of searching for my pants, we had three people looking. They were finally found in the oven.
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
So I figured it out. There's two types of shitters. Moaners and grunters. And on occasion there's a third. It's the ill fabled grunt moaner.
Want to meet at a cool spot and just park like cops side-by-side and you can eat some potatoes and I can smoke a cigarette in your face?
Randomize
