Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
you ever fart during an orgasm? feels like u just lost 10 pounds
I was in the bathroom throwing up...when I walked out he was sitting there watching porn and jacking off. He said, "Sounded like you were gonna be in there for a while."
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
my knee is completely bruised from kneesliding into the bowling ball. bowling for creativity points was a win
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
Bailing my boss from jail at five in the morning.. If thats not a promotion I don't what is.
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I'm missing a sock, a boot, and antlers. We need to get on that.
I got whiskey, so I think the blizzard and I are at an even match
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
I think someone shaved off all their pubes in the handicap stall or a werewolf stopped by the office to take a crAzy dump!
Randomize
