apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
she's in the bathroom. spitting in the trashcan. not throwing up. just spitting and singing bad romance by lady gaga.
thatta girl
It was a group decision to take your pants off. Took a solid 10 minutes. No more skinny jeans while drinking.
Went to an open-bar law school party and puked in front of Justice Scalia. My legal career is now complete -- I literally got judged by a U.S. Supreme Court Justice. Can't get any higher than that.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
Also this guy fingered me at the bar and then gave me his card
Like actually I will be single and sad and lonely for ever. Cheese will be my life partner. Robot sex is my future.
At least your road beer policy is responsible. Well, relatively speaking.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
The economy isn’t reopen until I can get drunk and motorboat fake tits at lunch on a Wednesday
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
