I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
since i spend so many of my nights sleeping on the bathroom floor i think im going to remove all toiletries from under my sink and replace them with a pillow and blanket.
Giving me the bigger bowl of ramen isn't considered "romantic"
Seriously why is the deadbolt locked. This is the second time I'm having to sleep on the porch using my boots as my pillow. I can't wait till the next time your drunk.
Shhh, I'm sleeping. Just let it happen Jess.
But I was triple fisting doubles, that's bound to be a good time. Might have a broken collarbone though.
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I realize it truly is impossible to burrow under the grass like a mole. Let's not drink for at least another 3 days.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
I'm taking a dab in mourning of how long its been since I smoked with you guys.
Drowning in science and also vodka. Hope you're having fun.
Drink drank drunk tankkkkn, LETS GO
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
Randomize
