I told him he can't put it there till we're exclusive. That's totally The Relationship Hole.
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
I'm so high I used the top vent on my dashboard to heat up a cheeseburger
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
I woke up locked in the bar...this has redefined partying.
Im so tired of dysfunctional exs fucking up my relationships with future dysfunctional exs
The cops knocked on our door just to ask us if we were really having a no-pants party.
I sincerely hope you find your fuck buddy and have a wonderful night of champagne and whores
We laughed. We cried. We came everywhere.
That's like.....u just dangled a sex carrot in front of me then took it away!
I've never been so tempted to check my phone during sex in my life.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Just so you know, I choose to answer your bootytext tonight because it was the most creative.
I talked to his mom for a good 10 minutes with coke all over my nose. Not the best first impression
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
