he thinks he's going to hurt your feelings
He can't hurt my feelings
I don't have feelings.
we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
When I meet a new girl, I'm terrified of mentioning something she hasn't already told me but that I have learned from some light internet stalking.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
The best time of year to be high is WHEN THE KING CAKES ARE HALF OFF BECAUSE MARDI GRAS IS OVER YEEEEEEEEEEEEAAAAAAAAHHHHHHHHH
Everyone is sleeping and i'm sittin here in my iron man mask, watchin chelsea lately and tryin to figure out how to smoke through it.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
i dont know the whole gay terminator look is really hot on him
Woke up with an e-cig stuck in my asshole. Explain.
Damn victory sex feels great
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
I have post one night stand depression
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
Randomize
