have fun at tinkers! p.s. are there any hot guys who look like they wanna wait until marriage to have sex?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
I'm pretty sure I'm almost gay. Like, I'd do it if I had no choice. Like, if i were in prison I'd try it.
I think I ordered pizza when I got home. The email said the delivery time was noon today. So if that shit shows up I am the most amazing drunk on the planet.
well the first picture of me in 2011 involves a viking helmet and chugging champagne. i like this year already.
Idk. I woke up marinating in beer on my beanbag. Idk what you mightve done.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Sooo Zach and Judd are on my porch drunk eating leaves and flowers...
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
Yes, bail money means jail. It also means lie to dad, do it now.
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
I'm pretty sure the Bible says "He who is most sober may cast the first stone."
Randomize
