Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
I think east. Tornado watch. What the fuck are you doing in Texarkana?
Bonnaroo. Tornado watch? Expand on that thought.
Watch for tornadoes.
I'm at a job interview and I smoked a little before I came. I thought it would make me less nervous. Boy was I wrong.
Yeah, she'd be cute...but she has faith. It's a problem down south.
i feel like even strangers are annoyed with me because of how drunk i was last night
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
Why did I just get a ziplock baggie labeled "2010" on it from you in the mail?
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Weirdest sensation ever: having your penis fall asleep. It was like tiny hulk hogan was choking it out
Jesus told me in my dream not to go to the party. I am athiest for tonight PARTY ON
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
Randomize
