Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
answered a 6 am booty call this morning...you were still in the er so I thought what the hell
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
He's only going to be gone for two weeks
That's two months in gay whore years.
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
Randomize
