Thanks for stopping me from doing a one man keg stand by myself clad in only a towel. that probably wouldve ended badly.
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
You do realize that we got a stripper to do the YMCA for us on the main stage... Right?
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I'm sorry, but the "Hobbit Slam" has to be a sex move.
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
DOUBLE NIPPLE PIERCINGS ARE HORRIFYING
It's a good thing my liver is flexible because a lesser man would be dead
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
DO I FUCKING *LOOK* LIKE SOMEONE WHO HAS THEIR ACT TOGETHER!?!? THE ANSWER IS "NO"!
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
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