I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I haven't been laid since Bush was president.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
honestly, magaritas are the void men can't fill.
Pro tip: Don't start playing Bejeweled on Facebook while waiting for your Adderall to kick in. Unless you have the next 9 hours free.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
well right now he's telling us a story how he befriended a racoon
Yes I was being legit. That's the only plant I want in my house. A growing penis.
The nursing school interview showed me a picture of my passed out during your party. They asked if this was a frquent thing. I told them you drugged me.
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
Not remembering where I left my grinder before vacation #stonerproblems
So you're saying you don't want to be with her anymore because she likes sex to much and is just to hot?
Well when you say it that way it makes me sound like an idiot.
You are an idiot.
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
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