Not hooking up w him- he has one of those L.L. Bean book bags w his initials on it
if my vagina gave out awards, he should be preparing acceptance speaches for the oscar, the heisman and the nobel peace prize.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
He brought Stephanie home from the black light party. Apparently he has night vision beer goggles
It smelled like mall pretzels. Of course I investigated.
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
You are mentally unprepared to be exposed to my degree of perversion.
I woke up to find that chris drank one of my contacts.
Yeah he's good at that.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Randomize
