either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I can't believe I'm wasting this thong on a guy in a sweater vest.
i just realized i dont have a sober facebook picture since 2007
Wow that was a lesbian tornado.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
all i know is that i listed him in my phone as 'vagina cookies.' that can only be a good thing.
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
Just to warn you I probably wont be able to do anything that involves standing up
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Randomize
