when you close your eyes do you see, that mystical creature will be me.
who is this?
he's a nude model. what could you have done to make him feel awkward??
Getting up at 8 this morning to drink could be the best and the worst idea we've ever had
I'm sober enough to realize she looks like a man, but drunk enough to do it anyways
I feel like a fucked a broomstick last night. You get a gold star.
I rode on his Vespa around Florence and fucked him in an empty train. It was like a way sluttier version of Lizzy McGuire
in my defense i said 'lock up your wives' before going out.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
Question. Was fucking Laura an entirely regrettable decision?
like...quickly.
Sorry for trying to baptize you last night
You knew the entire thing in Latin I was so impressed
He finally left. I didn't introduce him to the roommate. The sex is bad. I don't want him to feel welcome
Don't come up here. Strippers r crying.
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
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