Ugh I have so many sins to confess tmw at church, you just made me think of many more I've made on that street alone
this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
MTV Made just made me cry. Where have all of my life goals gone?
Can't wait to hear which one of you won the 'fuck a bigger geek' contest last night. Queen Amidala vs Lara Croft. See you at breakfast.
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
God, you're amazing. I just want to hang out with you in the nude and watch Monty Python movies whilst we quip about how comedians just aren't as funny anymore.
Credit for originality. Points off for a mild to moderate creepy factor.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
You took your pants and underwear off as soon as we got to Melissa's and just walked around the entire time like it was completely normal. We even ate pizza together with your vagina exposed. You're my hero.
So, I almost went hone with a French guy and a drag queen. Together. Then I became sober enough to realize, that's not my style.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
