check it out our google latitudes are spooning
tip of the day : never have sex with a full bladder. it WILL lead to complications and a very unhappy partner.
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
I woke up using a pile of socks as a pillow. I think theyre clean so thats a plus.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
You should have seen her, she looked like a skinny Jabba The Hutt
That literally makes no sense
Exactly
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
So, just in case you go to the bathroom in the middle of the night.. Sam is asleep in the first stall.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Someone put a huge skyy vodka bottle in our washing machine. My roommate didn't see it and ran it. The washing machine split in two. #life
I panicked i brought burritos. Funeral burritos
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
