at a bar and heard one girl tell another her tampon string was showing she goes i dont want it in anymore anyways. then proceeds to pull out her tampon in the middle of the bar and leave it on a plate. ewwww
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
just spent the last 4 hours covering his room in sticky notes. Viva Drunk Thursdays.
There is a pube in my fucking eyeball
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
we are sitting in a kindergarden classroom alone chugging beer. look at our lives. look at our choices.
Matt just ate a burger out of the trash can in front of the McDonalds. We need to have a serious talk about his drinking.
Just jerked off with bubble wrap. Not as awesome as it sounds.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
I just want you to know when I bang him in the back of my car later I'll have pony by ginuwine on repeat
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
So I woke up this morning to find my laptop open, with a google search for "where to buy marble", and a hungover naked northern girl in my bed who told me that I claimed to be a sculptor last night and that I promised to sculpt a bust of her hands...
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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