On friday while at the hotel bar by myself (creepy) I made friends w/ a millionaire who said he may be running for the position of mayor in richmond va (likely a lie). At one point during our discourse he asked if I was crazy. In the effort of full disclosure I looked him in the eye and said yes
I don't know what prompted his inquiry, clearly this man had impeccable intuition
She transformed our coors light pitcher we stole from the bar into a fruit basket...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
Truth be told I was googling "why is my left calf bigger than my right calf", porn would've been a better excuse for a virus.
I feel miserable and there's nutella all over my phone
No, this is a senior booty call. It cannot be ignored.
Is "you left your socks here, please come get them" a good way of saying "come fuck me?"
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
you just don't appreciate it because you've never been arrested
Yeah. I fucked her boyfriend, she knows, and she still wants to keep dating him. That's love.
he was almost the father of your baby, you should let him take you to dinner
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize