she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
College is just filling the gap until I get a rich girl pregnant
The bridesmaids just went smackdown on the floor, over the bouquet. I saw nipple. Best wedding ever
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
There's a sign at Bashas for 30% off of 6 bottles of wine in Friday. That seems like a personal challenge.
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
My costume for the end of the world party was a success. Everyone in the ER thought I was there because I got hit by a car when it was actually from alcohol poisoning.
Put some vodka in it
Its 7am
put some vodka in it
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I found a door knob in my purse this morning, I hope whoever it belonged to doesn't need it today.
hahahah
Between having seen you naked and interpreting your values based on the occasional political FB post, you're no stranger for sure.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Here's the thing. Kinda drunk. Eating leftover soup. In bed. Watching Disney channel.
when I finally sobered up enough to get out of bed this morning I went to talk to mom and forgot that I had TITS written in big letters on both my hands. I love drinking games.
Randomize
