if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
M and I are hungry and we are making your pizza in the fridge. But you're having sex and we're not so we dont feel bad.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
you refused to come out of the bathroom until i asked you in spanish
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
Taking Gomer to the ER. He tore something trying to stretch his nutsack enough to put his balls in his own ass. I need new friends.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
How weird would it be to ask your bro to 3d print your dick for me
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
You left me a really long voicemail saying, "Hey, it's meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee." and then the rest is just loud laughter
Randomize
