His facebook status is an owl city song. I'm so glad i didn't end up fucking him.
you know what its like when everyone is chanting "do it, do it"...still friends?
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Just ignore his excessive use of exclamation points and be happy this one is of age.
You fucker.
think of it as grooming, as if he is my Kate Middleton and I'm grooming him to be a presentable princess
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
I don't know man, I have to ask my girlfriend if I can borrow my balls from her purse.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
What is soo wrong about a house of half-naked people hugging each other and laughing?
The pinata full of drugs?
The bottle brush for the bong worked really well to clean the brownies out of the waffle maker.
Two old ladies openly mocked me this morning at drunk breakfast. Is it time to reevaluate my life choices?
He made me pay for half of dinner. Fucking feminist revolution.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
