fine then we can just have courtesy sex i definetly won't like it
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
And it just wouldn't be a Thursday night without me having to cuss out a foreigner. The streak continues.
Now that you're back together are you gonna tell him you set his stuff on fire?
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
You know what the worst feeling in the world is? Sitting in your 6pm AA meeting still hungover from the night before
How exactly does one go about seducing an older, possibly blind gentleman?
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I'll pay you back with progressively deviant sexual favors.
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
I'd date him. I'd date the fucking shit out of him.
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
Randomize
