You took my girl thats shot the Fuck out. You better watch your skinny ass.
That's barely a sentence. Who's your girl? I think you've got the wrong number. I haven't even lived in Alabama for 4 years.
Yeah, I do, I'm sorry. I meant 205 not 256. sorry about that.
Good luck with your revenge in Birmingham.
I was able to overlook the Affliction tee until he took it off and there was another tattooed on his body.
Was it at least attractive minus the Gargoyles or skulls... or whatever affliction is putting out these days?
Even a greek god couldn't pull it off. Told him I like Ed Hardy Better. Death Before Dishonor, baby. I'm sure it was a painful blow. hopefully he understands sarcasm.
"what do u think of parents raising kids to be peeping toms" said guy on bus 2 me
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
Apparently I promised a worker at La Siesta free English lessons to make up for vomming all over the little Mariachi band.
its not you its me. and by that i mean i am more interested in having random one night stands with random hot girls then having the same normal sex with u.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
My book, "How to Live With a Huge Penis" was delivered today. Can't wait to read it in public.
Sorry for peeing on you and your bed last night.
Nothing like sitting at your midterm pissed at yourself because you put your graphing calculator batteries in your vibrator and forgot to put them back in before the exam 😑
Did I literally just offer a blowjob for help moving? Yes. Yes, I did.
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
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