ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
I said "have a good day officer and I'll see you friday when I get arrested for being too drunk.."
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
It's like getting ready for my vaginas own execution
time for you to cut the loving, understanding, non-judgmental crap and say/do whatever it takes to make sure I never, ever, ever sleep with him again ever
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
You were yelling at the mannequin and saying "DON'T LOOK AT ME"
It was like being run over by an orgasm freight train.
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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