What's the procedure for failed threesomes? Do I friend her on facebook this morning?
the people next to us in line are buying a 12 pack and a snuggie
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
I don't understand how she could dump me AFTER we had shower sex. I'm fucking great at shower sex
It's getting increasingly easier to use his emotional instability to my advantage. That's about all he has going for him right now.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
Typing up notes at the bar and doing shots with the bartender until close on a Wednesday. This is what my second year of law school has become.
The body is still out there. I don't think my trainer realized when he asked me not to drink for 24 days, how often I see dead people
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
Dude, you ever snap awake on the toilet at work with that panicked, "How long have I been here?!" feeling??
And god said thou shalt never deny free booze. And it was good.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
I found a tomato seed inside my jeans. I did not eat tomatoes
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