So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
So much for not drinking this week after this weekend.. Congratulations. U made it until tuesday.
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
i told him i should keep a toothbrush at his house for after all the times i threw up there. he said yes but i wasnt getting a key to the apt
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
Also, no joke, I think that raccoon hair is still in my eye from last night.
They ran out of toilet paper, so I had a girl rip down the streamers so I could wipe.
It's like God tapped him on the shoulder and said "You are now capable of giving world shattering, tear jerking head."
Dude, I'm trippin balls. For real, I thought this bag on my floor was my dog for the longest time...
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
Sorry I’m late. Got horny watching the traffic report and had to rub one out
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