Fun fact: tonight on intervention was the guy who did my tattoo
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
I just used dish soap as body wash. I smell like a dishwasher exploded. isn't the end of the semester fun?
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
I gotta find new tactics tho. There's just so many tied up dicks one can look at before part of your soul dies.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
He corrected my use of grammar... I think we both know that means i have to sleep with him
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
He has blue eyes of sex and i am powerless against them
Doesn't tell me where my computer chair went but good to know
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Told a guy at the bar I was hurricane evacuees with no place to stay. Just woke up at his place. God bless Florence
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
