All the good ones are taken. All that's left is the Harry Potter geek or the asshole in the corner. I think I'll settle for Harry Potter.
I'm such a slut...i kept having sex with him after he called me his ex gf's name. I just felt like i deserved something out of it too.
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Just did an upsidedown spineboard shot. Gotta love lifeguard parties.
and he's drinking a bud lime in his profile pic meaning i can out drink him, meaning i would clearly be the alpha in our relationship
He just told me what he wants for his birthday. "a noise complaint" he also said he wants to be the cause of all the noise but he won't be the one making the noise.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
That was the first time I ever heard of a female getting road head while driving... thanks for the memory and making me happy ending..
I moved to this city Tuesday and got laid Saturday. Still got it.
She was on top, but I lost her at "alright, you look like predator."
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
Have you ever gotten such awesome underwear you wish you didnt have to wear pants?
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
Randomize
