I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
I just opened a bunch of old flavored condoms just to see what they tasted like.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I am trying to figure out how to tell this kid i have a boyfriend in a way that still allows me to smoke free weed
The carpet cleaning people refuse to steam clean human feces. I'll call back later and blame it on the dog not you
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
I feel like all of the victims from Seven. Best birthday weekend ever.
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Hes wearing a shirt that says warning shitshow and i cant help but think his attorney made him wear it so ppl know the dangers.
Whatever happend to that lawsuit where he got sued for shittig in that fish tank
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
Randomize
