Seriously? Do you have me saved in your phone as 'check every 3 months to see if she's single yet'?
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
Also I think I'm starting to get calluses on my hands from my level of sexual activity
I just showered sitting down with a sippy cup of water in there with me. It took 40 minutes. That hungover.
"It's not a date, we're just spending the entire day at a concert and then getting high together." Awesome.
You have found the Promised Land of friend zones
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
He just got out of surgery, almost died from shooting him self with an arrow.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Well, we went shopping. He bought me starbucks and ate me out in the change room at target. If that isnt the best post covid first date, I don't know what is
Randomize
