yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
At least you got some premium homework time. Still drinking vodka from a coffee cup?
I switched to water. When the numbers get blurry you are no longer being productive.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
You rubbed your penis on my leg and said "people have paid for this kind of action"
He thought you were kidding about me peeing on my ex...and then I was like "that was one time"
She rode me wearing nothing but a Santa hat. Merriest fucking Christmas!
I just got the high sucked out of me. Fuck.
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
