Already got asked if we're dating
Pretty sure somebody just said 'I used to have a nipple'
that's awkward
i found you on the dancefloor with your cell phone to your ear saying that you didn't like the music they played at the club so you were going to listen to your own
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
I miss forts and drugs that made me believe in unicorns...
at one point while they were drilling into my jaw I just remember thinking "will I ever be able to suck dick again"
I TOOK A FINGER IN THE BUTT YOU CAN OPEN THIS MESSAGE
Dilemma. I'm out of wine and I can't put on clothes to go to the liquor store bc I just got spray tanned. If this isnt white girl problems I don't know what is.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
Im getting out of handcuffs then i'll give you a call
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