Do you need to be saved?
No I think I'm God
I hate to tell you this, but your sister reeks of whore.
sperm doesn't mix with malibu too well
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
We snorted a line of cocaine and xanax, and then played a game of Backgammon. It was surprisingly therapeutic.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
You walked in wearing nothing but a beekeeper mask
She came into the salon and said, "Don't judge me. Yes that's cum in my hair and I want a shampoo, cut and style."
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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