Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
Once you see the odd facial expressions and noises a guy makes while he is furiously beating off on top of you, it kind of puts things into perspective.
my mom just served us mashed potatoes with an ice cream scoop. When I asked her why, she said she thought it would make dinner 'more fancy'...
He's more than prepared to help us move. Dude brought sunscreen, cans of Coke, and Captain Morgan.
He got punched in the face, dropped his laptop down a flight of stairs, and broke his roommate's lava lamp, getting all the toxic lava goo everywhere. This is why we don't let him get drunk. And yet here we are.
You asked the waitress what the corking fee would be on the Joose you smuggled into the restaurant.
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
I just text my one night stand Happy Easter on her way home...now would be a good time for the lord to smite me.
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
After dropping your phone on the ground you got down and sat with it, kissed it and apologized for being so mean
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
i'm pretty sure my brother is still drunk from last night. he's telling my parents that humans are at the top of the food chain for a reason and listing off all the exotic animals he would eat
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
