i've alrwady decidided boys hate me plkease take notyes.
what
nvm
420 ftw
Just asked what her favorite part of a guys body is. She said ballsack. I'm in love.
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
i told her my name was noah and she leans in and whispers "that makes me so wet." ive never been more thankful for the Notebook
Holy shit bill nye is being consulted as an expert on cnn and hes credited as the science guy. What the fuck is the world coming to?
He kept singing "who's that peekin in my window" we thought he was high til we realized someone was lookin in the windows.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
Wait so they unscrewed the bathroom door to find you naked?
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Oh and my new excuse for not being able to hook up is cholera, feel free to use it
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
When we left, you were on your third beer. When we came back to grab you, you had a pint glass half full of whiskey and had convinced the band to give you a microphone.
I don't care what you say about him, his cock is the stuff dreams are made of.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
Randomize
