I heard some girl say 'yeah he mustve been so drunk he kept mumbling and repeating himself'
And I thought
Fuck I do that shit every weekend
I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I should just wear a shirt that says "Im Sorry" on the front because the second we land in Vegas, I'm going to be a fuckin trainwreck.
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
I want a grilled cheese and an IV
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
I don't care what you say, the fact that he's a drag queen with the same shoe size as me is reason enough to date him
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
