He's totally hot and awesome. And he's a Democrat
Good, so he won't mind when you kill the baby.
You were playing beer pong by yourself. Finally someone took the ball and threw it into the bonfire. You sat by it, cried, and contemplated how to get it out. For 45 minutes.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
When I stretch out her lips her vagina looks like a dolphin...this birthmark is awesome
I'm 99% sure I high fived a girl over mashed potatoes last night
I'm sitting on the patient chair, waiting for my vagina to be violated & "i don't want to miss a thing" has been playing on repeat. WHY IS THIS HAPPENING TO ME.
We just found a knife wedged in between the cushions on the couch you guys fucked on...why is this?
Yeah it'll definitely be worth it. Not having syphilis all the time you know
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
I think I used my NERF gun during sexual roleplay. Need to re-evaluate my life choices.
ever had the feeling "I've been drunk in this bathroom before?" Like De ja drunk?
The guy who was interviewing me asked if I had coke on my pants. You win this time Las Vegas
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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