you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.. I just figured you were drunk and needed somewhere to crash, but your no where to be found. I'll I have is this corn dog. call me when you get this. I'm worried! --mom
Why am I wearing a dog collar
Only way we could keep you from running in to traffic.
Is it bad if I just put band-aids over my nipples? Way too hungover be dealing with a bra
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
I'm pretty sure I just smoked a chunk of cat food. Thought it was something else. No reply needed.
I think I was high. I asked a dude at chillis if they had a cereal buffet
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
