I tried to give up sex for lent. It feels weird that on easter I'm this excited to be a whore again
i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
I don't want end up bound and gagged in the back of a van headed for rehab. Bound and gagged OK. Just not the rehab part.
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
Are there any plans to where i might need to be dressed semi-nicely or is it a "pants optional" weekend?
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
At the funeral we'll say nice things, like "She was delightfully extreme, psychotically wonderful, and could probably drink all you fuckers under the table."
That's literally the perfect eulogy
Normally, it will inspire me to work. Today, it's inspiring me to masturbate.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
This whole thing is fucking bullshit. I should be wasting all my hard-earned money at Planet Con this weekend but NOOOOOOOOO. Now I'll never get Roy Thomas to sign my comic
Randomize