You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
you proceeded to suck on ur pinkie saying it reminded you of chris and you wanted him badly
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
for once, the $56 i am about to pay for plan b was actually worth the sex.
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
Her handjob consisted of slapping me in the balls. I am never hooking up with her ever again ever.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
My fire has petered out without you
My Peter has fired out without you
That might be the most romantic thing you’ve said to me, unfortunately.
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Randomize
